Tim and the Tin Titan


Conservative commentary As Comedy
You know, I should really push for CCAC (Conservative commentary As Comedy) to become a standard expression. It would be used anytime a super-far right wing commentator makes a statement so grossly exaggerated or all encompassing that it become funny.

As my first exhibit, I would like to present: More Aircraft Laser Incidents Pinned on Gay Club-Goers
Homosexuals, terrorists, or both? [...] Fans of the pocket searchlights are also quick to draw a distinction between red lasers, typically used by teachers in a classroom lecture setting, and the green lasers used by homosexuals and terrorists.
Green laser are only used by homosexuals and terrorists? Really? Somebody better tell ThinkGeek! I just had to laugh at that generalization. If that were true, imagine the following scene at an airport check-in:
TSA Agent: "Sir, we found this GREEN laser pointer in your bag, is it your?"
Traveler: "Yes it is"
TSAA: "Are you gay sir?"
T: "Hum, no?"
Bah, just so over the top you have to laugh.

How Can Playing Records Be Regarded As An Art Form?
A new great mix from The Outlaws called Too Many Fools Following Too Many Rules is available for stream or download from their site. It is a bit more approachable and more pop oriented than most hip-hop accented mash-up mixes. It's got a great beat and I particularly like the second track, Chemical Donor. Check it out.

The Art Of The Review
This mock review of the new restaurant Masa in New York (Lunch or dinner for two can easily exceed $1,000) called Your Table Is Ready by John Kenney is pretty funny. The writter tries to imagine what goes on in a restaurant so exclusive:
Unfortunately, we were running late. This worried me. I had been trying to get a reservation at Masa since 1987, seventeen years before it opened, as I knew that one of the prerequisites of dining there was a knowledge of the future. I also knew of the restaurant’s strict “on-time” policy. Babette and I arrived exactly one minute and twenty-four seconds late. We know this because of the Swiss Atomic clock that diners see upon arrival at Masa.
Thirty-five minutes later, we met our wait staff: nine people, including two Buddhist monks, whose job it is to supervise your meal, realign your chakras, and, if you wish, teach you to play the oboe. Introductions and small talk—as translated by Aki (which, we later learned, means “Autumn”)—lasted twenty minutes. I was then slapped again, though I’m not sure why.


What Am I Forgetting?
A hilarious post about that special time when we completely forget the obvious until it become painfully clear to us:
That "oh-shit!" moment
You've seen it in the movies; that precise moment when the protagonist comes to a startling discovery, and the camera starts zooming in on said character, a stunned look on his/her face, as the background seems to fall farther into the distance and the score erupts in a crescendo of doom. Well, I shall describe exactly what that feels like in real life.

Anti-Social Medicine
I knew that healthcare was expensive in the US but this is ridiculous:
Half of Bankruptcy Due to Medical Bills

Two More Craiglist writing Gems

From a very disgusting story about anal sex gone wrong:
Thinking she was close to orgasm, I pumped that ass even faster, faster than Amish meth-head churns butter.

From a story about Christmas presents:
5. One of my female co-workers gave me a Jan. Playboy with a packet of Nuveen hand Cream taped to it. I was going to get her a sexual harassment suit...but then I realized my Christmas gift to her was a box containing a Gift Certificate to Victoria's secret, a Disposable Camera, and a Stamped Envelope addressed to me.

Patriot Act
A picture of an excellent poster in NYC during the campaign.
[Kerry in vietnam gear = Patriot, Bush in flightdeck photo-op gear = Patriot Act]

Dirty Music
ComfortStand.com has release an MP3 album called
Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka, Porn Music For The Masses Volume 1. Not all the songs are good but I particularly enjoy "The Love God" by Mantinibomb. I took Mr.Juno's "Hate Sex" out of the playlist. The mix is very eclectic but worth the download.


Stolen Sounds
The Kelptones have a new "Bonus Winter Collection" out: From Detroit to J.A.

Get it here, courtesy or Waxy.org

Comments coming soon.

Silver ladle
A great quote about the smugness of Bush when he gets applause at speeches, taken from the Yeti:
Or, as Jim Hightower succinctly put it, "He is a man who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple."

Hey There, Cowboy
Rustlin' up Respect with J.Upton Dogwalker:
Sexual harassment in the workplace can sneak up on you like a Commanche in a creek bed! How do you know if you're harassin' someone? How do you know if you're gittin' harassed? Have a gander at this here instructional video to find out.

A hilarious spoof of sexual harassment training films. It was made as part of the National Film Challenge, which required the inclusions: Genre - Western, Line of Dialogue - "You caught me at a bad time.", Character - J. Upton, Dogwalker, Prop - Map.

Another Nice Video
Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar by Michel Gondry. Details:
"The video describes a journey as seen from a train window, only the disposition of each passing element in the landscape is positioned exactly in sync with the music.
"Every sound from the track will be illustrated by an element of the landscape that appears each time that sound is heard. As the song becomes more elaborate, we will create a more and more complex landscape."

Very well made and a true work of patience and minutiae

Stop! Thief!
The Neistat Brothers often make small quirky movies, including the iPod's Dirty Secret video that some credit with making Apple modify their battery replacement policy.

Their latest one is about bike theft in NYC (but is really applicable anywhere). They locked up their bikes in public places then proceed to steal them using bolt cutters, a saw, a hammer and chisel and even a angle grinder (complete with eye, ear and hand protection).It is really incredible to watch how easy it is to steal a bike and no one will interfere with you while you are doing it. The only person who intervenes actually gives them advice on how to do it better. There is also a police van that drive right by while they are in action. Watch it then think about how secure it is when you lock up.

To help you along, some tips on how to properly lock up your bike.

Also, I had Kryptonite locks that were affected by the bic pen exploit and were recalled. I am happy to report that the company has made good on their promise and I received 2 new locks last week. Gotta love a company that stands behind it's product even when there is a problem. Might have cost them a lot, but they bought my loyalty.


DnD Through And Through
Mail form dante:
Perhaps the weirdest way to make clear you're a hard core gamer:
"Motherfucker, my balls have twenty sides."
Origianlly from Penny-Arcade

All Buffy, All The Time
I posted a entry in the reference section of Toolwerks about someone that has compiled a complete Buffy The Vampire Slayer Database called Buffyology. It has: "Every Buffy character, episode, cast member, writer and director and every word of every show, in a searchable database".

Amazing work of dedication and patience.


Telephonic Plague
A small village in Louisiana gets telephone service for the first time ever earlier this week.
"It wasn't 15 minutes after that phone was in before a telemarketer called me," Edwards said. "But that wasn't really a problem. I just told him I wasn't interested and hung up."
One thing that I particularly appreciate since I switched to VOIP service (from primus.ca) is that I have not received a single telemarketing call in 4 months. I'm sure this is mostly due to the fact that my new phone number is in a range that resembles cellular phones, but it is a nice, if unintended, side-effect.

Great Videos
I recently came across two great videos:

YE-YE - Eurostar.mov (.mov, 11.6megs) by Gabriel Malaprade at Bikini Films. I don't know much about this one as both the band and director are unknown to me but it's a great concept, kind of a reverse job swap... Funny too.

Markus Nokolai - Bushes(Norman Cook remix) (.mov, 6.5megs) by Matt Kirkby. Very simple: the song is called "Bushes", he makes a video of women removing their bush, by going Brazilian. No nudity, although the audio may not be safe for work (screaming and swearing). Norman Cook is an AKA for Fatboy Slim. Vice magazine recently had an article about how he is shaking up the UK with him pranks. What he has to say about this video:

As soon as I heard the title "Bushes", I faxed off the concept. We called in the official Guinness nurse and got about 400 girls in to get it done. It was so perfect because Markus Nicolai's original track and Fatboy Slim's remix had that typical house thing going where it builds to a climax, so I designed the video around that. You get all the tension of the girls lying down, and most of them had never been waxed. Then as the track breaks, all hell tears loose.
Both are worth talking a look.