Quotes
Today seems to be particularly ripe for funny quotes:

My friends and I always spend long car trips either debating things like five-hundred-dachsunds-vs-a-tiger or trying to outdo each other with heinous choices ("would you rather have to take all of your nourishment for a month by suckling from a miraculously-lactating Andy Rooney, or appear as the anonymous third star in a 3-hour pornographic epic starring Whoopi Goldberg and Randy Quaid?").

From Ask.Metafilter.com

Anything goes in the world of Ipods. I carried my Ipod around in the stomach of a comatose possum for a week and I was the coolest kid on campus.

From Gizmodo