How to be a Bible Apologist
An Eight-Step Guide to Bible Literalism through Christian Apologetics

Step One: Accept the divine, absolute, and literal truth of the Bible.
Step Two: Twist the definition of "literal" beyond all recognition.
Step Three: Ignore or re-interpret the last 600 years of scientific knowledge
Step Four: Learn to believe two or more contradictory ideas simultaneously.
Step Five: Acknowledge the hundreds of fulfilled prophecies contained in the Bible.
Step Six: Learn that moral relativism is not true.
Step Seven: Learn that absolute morals can change depending on the situation or society.
Step Eight: Become comfortable with your own insanity.

Congratulations! You are now well on your way to becoming a Bible apologist!

Christian Apologetics: How to be a Bible Apologist. A tutorial in Biblical literalism.

A funny and sarcastic look at bible thumpers. Brought to you by the Evil Atheist Conspiracy.

Helpful Tip:
To help combat doubts, try sticking your fingers in your ears and saying "La la la la la la" repeatedly.